ObsCure 2: MYST on Scarecrow Gas

Funny story, I actually picked this game after telling myself that I wanted something obscure. My advice readers, be careful what you wish for.

Is this game fun? Well, I wouldn't be able to tell you. The thing was so fucked up and difficult that I couldn't get past the third level. It would have been second, but I printed out a walkthrough. Next level even the walkthrough doesn't know what the fuck you should do.

So basically you're in a town with the grand-daddy to every botanists worst nightmares. The first game I guess had a crazy scientist who did experiments on the kids and now his brother or something is making it again. I don't really care. The story gets force fed to you in diluted chunks of expositional jargen that only die hards would ever care about.

After the opening cut scene we're in the middle of a college campus. Despite the ominous feel of the place the characters you play as seem to care less than you, and the attitude is that of someone who didn't get invited to a lot of college parties (ie: Game Developers know how to hold a grudge). The main characters are all obsessed with getting to this party that is rumored to have tons of booze (+5 to Charisma) and connections to a weird plant drug that causes hallucinations. I'm just waiting for the kids in this game to put up Flower posters and pro-flower propaganda, saying that they are the next cure for cancer and shouldn't be demonized.

Anyway, you then trip major balls and find yourself in an abandoned field with your... sister? I know I should know this, but I'm really kind of confused. Anyway you enter through a sewer hatch after watching someone you don't know get drug down there by something the PC's would call "FUCKING, WHAT-THE-FUCK-IS-THAT-THING!???!?" Since you don't care if the bitch lives or dies, the game imediately rail-roads you down the rabbit hole.


"You decide that character development is useless, and should probably follow the GM's plot that he worked really hard on."

So what do you see in this underground passage? A clip from the Goosebumps/Inception fanfiction crossover. This place didn't know whether it wanted to be a hallway or Hannibal Lecters favorite vacation spot. Then once you get to the end, you're railroaded into dying, only to turn up safely back at your dorm. Wow, thanks for tugging at our heart string game.

Meanwhile, at the party that you were so desperate to get to before, two characters we've never met before start making jokes that we're expected to get. They sneek in, breaking tons of laws, but whatever it's a M game for a reason. They then have to fight off some sickening creature with a gun that you have to find in the houses safe. This is were the walkthrough came in. I was told that I had to find the combo somewhere in one of the rooms around you. The problem is that you are not told where, nor are you told when you're close to it. You're just expected to search everything around.

Like I said, to get as far as I did, just look in a walkthrough, but seriously why waste your fucking time. I'm sure that if I gave the game a chance I would eventually care about the characters, and from what I saw the plot wasn't that bad. What my problem is, is the gameplay. Yes, the gameplay SUCKED!!! I don't know how many hours I spent trying to solve a problem, creatively and with as much insight as I could, to find out that I was doing it wrong anyway and looking in ALL the wrong places for answers. Then again, I'm not a puzzles kind of gamer. I prefer games like Ratchet and Clank, in the sense that I loved their visuals and I actually cared about the plot. Why? Because it was creative.

Anyway, I suppose if you liked games like Myst, and Silent Hill I could suggest it, but I don't plan on it any time soon, so the game gets a

[Blame the controls, not the player]

award.

By the way, no we're not using the rating system anymore, at least I'm not.

So once again, thanks for reading, thanks for watching, and have a happy lobotomy,
-WW

District 9: I didn't see the first eight, and I don't plan to

District 9. As opposed to other alien movies, where the aliens want to destroy us for some exagerated reason we use (building an interstellar bypass perhaps), we instead see them put into Hoovervilles and left there to fend for themselves. I've heard a lot of people ask why. Why do they just leave the ALIENS from OUTERSPACE in a slum? It's very simple, a lot of known cultures do it too. They are disposing of their weak. None of the aliens on the ship had any knowlege of how to fly it, and were no where near the controls if they did. They were left here, probably in an attempt to weed out the current population.

Now as for the rest of the movie, I can only really say that the visuals were what intruiged me. The aliens looked like aliens and the ones that went local still remained unique. The costumes were great when needed too. The alien arm attached to the main character was particularly well done.

Now to the bad part which is the plot. Well, not the whole plot, just the plot devices. First off the MC. We imediately don't care about this guy. The fact that he goes through severe pain and despair doesn't at all help us like him. This is due, mainly because he looks like the manager from Flight of The Concords.

Uncanny

Another thing this movie has to go for itself is the body count. Most of these characters are also completely forgettable, and thus equal wasted screen time.

The ending was dull, and predictable so I won't waste your time with it.

All in all, District 9 had a lot of potential, and did nothing wrong really. A bad cast and bad character development were its two biggest flaws, but what can be done now?

District 9 is rated R.

Z-Control gives it a-

[Meh]

Thank you for reading everybody; and remember to Keep Gaming,

-WW

Punisher: War Zone [Insert Obvious Sub-Title Here]

Punisher: War Zone. Why this movie? Because it's a sequel... to a CBM... of a franchise that only existed as tie-in bait.

Okay so the Punisher comics weren't that bad, but honestly can you honestly tell me that's not what they're for.

We get this guy
<-
Look familiar? He shouldn't. This guy is not the same guy from the first one and when asked about this they had a somewhat good reason. Thomas Jane, the original Punisher, had signed on to do The Mist and was not available when needed. I like Thomas Jane, and I liked the Mist too. But why would you give up on a for sure franchise with adoring fans, to work on a Stephen King film who's track record is 1/20 for good films. The Mist was good, but there's no way that Jane could know that.

Anyway, the story is set after the first one, seeing as the first one was as railroaded as they come after the unfortunate accident of the Punishers past. We see him first in the full on get up...

This is where stuff starts going down hill. We haven't seen this suit yet, and the previous Punisher never mentioned wanting the armor. He was perfectly content with going gung-ho and attacking with a simple t-shirt and kevlar vest. Impracticle? Yes. Bad-Ass, you'd better believe it. Now we get a full armor with an acrylic paint skull on the front and huge ass wings on the side of his neck for a line. How is this explained?

Newman of course. He's the Punishers supplier, which was so well fleshed out in the original...

You know what scratch that. My understaning was that he got the weapons from his dad's weapon shack, in a vengence style "Kill you with the weapons of the man you killed." This motive could still work... but no. This new way is probably a lot more realistic, but then again not. It's completely absurd to assume that a hardened bad-ass like the Punisher could trust someone like Newman with his weaponry, and even to go so far as letting the guy come and go in the Punisher Cave.

The rest of the movie seems like a video game, but seeing as the first game was awesome and this movie comes no where near that it's kind of lost on me. The only part that I liked was when the bad guys get into the Punishers hideout and start shooting up the place. That was awesome...

and then the ending. I had to watch it over a few times and still don't get it. I don't mean the conflict resolution (god know's we called that entering this sham). I mean the final ending before the cut to black, when Punisher takes the time to shoot out a sign to form... something. Maybe my memory is fucked up but I have no idea what the hell I was looking at. I think it was a cross, but who gives a shit.

Anyway, Punisher: War Zone. Okay, but it could have been better. And Thomas Jane you are a fool for not staying with this movie series.

As always Keep Gaming everyone and I'll see you next time,
-WW

Super-Bowl's Drawn Out FAIL

First off this review is completely legit. The Super-Bowl is a game and it's on TV which makes it a video, plus it's big name media... so...

Anyway, I do watch the Super-Bowl. I watch it for the icon that it is, as well as the commercials. But mostly I watch it for the Half-Time show and if I'm going to be sitting through 1-4 hours of slap ass testosterone I'd better get a good one.

For the most part I agree with my fellow Youtuber Jeremy Jahns in his despair over the lack of Daft Punk. They seriously did look like Tron suits (except for the one guy who took his wardrobe off of a Christmas tree) , which most people would immediately think "Tron just came out, maybe they'll have Daft Punk". Then the NFL basically says, "Fuck you and your expectations."

Fuck you NFL.

But Glee was good. The Thriller scene was enjoyable, and they actually put some character development into the gay/bully guy. I even started dancing along to the song halfway through.

So Half-Time= FAIL
Glee=Win

See you all next year, and Keep Gaming,
-WW

YOUReviewers Movie Awards

Thank God for freedom of speech. Who knew we had to wait 6000 years for it?

Now a LOT of people are complaining this year because of all the snubs the Oscar's made. This could be an annual thing, could not, but I really don't care. This year though, the snubs are being honored by Jeremy Jahns, and the Schmoes from Schmoes Know. Below is a list of their nominations, and with them I will include the poster for my pic based on what I've seen. After all of that I will explain why I'm not sticking to these guesses.
First up,

Best Soundtrack:

1. Inception (Han Zimmer)
2. Tron (Daft Punk)
3. The Social Network (Trent Reznor)
4. 127 Hours
5. Scott Pilgrim

Best Visual Effects:

1. Iron Man 2
2. Harry Potter 7
3. Tron
4. Inception
5. Scott Pilgrim

Best Screen Play (Adapted or Original):

1. The Social Network
2. Inception
3. 127 Hours
4. The King's Speech
5. Toy Story 3

Best Animated Film:

1. Megamind
2. Despicable Me
3. Tangled
4. How to Train Your Dragon
5. Toy Story Three

Best Supporting Actress:

1. Mila Kunis (Black Swan)
2. Amy Adams (The Fighter)
3. Amy Steinfeld (True Grit)
4. Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
5. Helen Van-Parter (The King's Speech)

Best Supporting Actor:

1. Tom Hardy (Inception)
2. Jeremy Renner (The Town)
3. Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)
4. Jeffrey Rush (The King's Speech)
5. Christian Bale (The Fighter)

Best Actress:

1. Natalie Portman (Black Swan)
2. Jennifer Lawrence (Winter's Bone)
3. Nicole Kiddman (Rabbit Hole)
4. Michelle Williams (Blue Valentine)
5. Annette Bening (The Kids are Alright)

Best Actor:

1. Ryan Gossling (Blue Valentine)
2. Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
3. Leonardo DiCaprio ( for Shutter Island)
4. Colin Ferth (The King's Speech)
5. James Franco (127 Hours)

Best Director:

1. Tom Hooper (The King's Speech)
2. Darren Aronofsky (Black Swan)
3. David Fincher (The Social Network)
4. Danny Boyle (127 Hours)
5. Christopher Nolan (Inception)

Best Picture:

1. The King's Speech
2. The Town
3. The Fighter
4. 127 Hours
5. Scott Pilgrim
6. Toy Story 3
7. True Grit
8. The Social Network
9. Black Swan
10. Inception

Most Under Rated Film:

1. Shutter Island
2. Scott Pilgrim
3. The American
4. Legend of the Guardians: The Owl's of Gahool
5. Kick-Ass

Now I can only say I've watched 50% of these so I won't pass judgement in case I misrepresent someone. But I have to say it seems to me that Scott Pilgrim is going to get something for its effort, as well as Shutter Island. Leave your votes below in the comments, and as always (since right now, since we don't have a catch phrase yet) I'm Eliot and this is Z-Control.

Keep Gaming.

___
Click here to
see The Video of Nominees

Hyper Active 2: Run Faster

Crank 2:

Because one sugar induced killing spree wasn't good enough for anyone.

Why? Because I enjoyed the first one, even though I am not the target market. I enjoyed the absurdity in the action and the fact that no one took it seriously. They just had fun with it, and that's why I watched it. I wanted a Plot Thin, explosion and fight driven movie with Stratham and it did not disappoint. The loose story let a shit-load be told and it all fit really well.

Then Hollywood said, "That worked so well, let's copy the entire story over again for a sequel." What we're given is a copy-pasta version of the original, with no substance, no effort and lame jokes.

It starts with, how I think the first one ended (not exactly sure, but who cares) where Chev is falling from a helicopter with some beaner guy. They hit a car and are almost killed. Chev gets wheeled off to a Chinese hospital (one more reason not to ask for the Kung-Pao Chicken's recipe), and the other is taken to be Hawking'd.

Now the good in this movie is the same as the first one. Fast paced action/music montages of either Chev running or fighting. The reason why he was dieing was even cool, with him having to shock him self with whatever he could to keep his heart going.

Now that that's out of the way it's time for the laundry list of bad.

1.
The sex scene. We got it in the first and Hollywood decided we needed it again. With another crowd full of cheering Asians, Chev and his Girlfriend again fuck to their hearts content, and this time it was her idea. We got a LOT of nudity before hand but this scene put the other scenes to shame, showing Stratham's ass many times, and giving us every position imaginable before their muddy cracks get washed away by a guy with a hose. Instead of the side walk outside of a crack house (if memory serves), they decided to bump uglies out on a horse track, everybody going down the list of emotions of shock, awe, and some even getting turned on. After the first one though, the shock factor is lost. True this one is bigger, but it was still already done; and those who got off on the first one probably don't care to see it again. It was a wasted opportunity and even the explanation of it was weak.

2.
Next is the humor. The first one had humor, but none that I can really remember. What I do remember was that it was a ton of action cliche's that really worked. This one...

...yeah. That's their idea of comedy. There were a few funny parts, but it was all robbed from us by scenes like this that are completely useless. No bearing on the story and no reason to be this random makes this kind of humor terrible.

3.

The characters. Remember that one guy from the first one that Chev robbed in the hospital? Or how about the guy at the end that Chev tackles from the helicopter? No? Well too fucking bad cause they get five minutes each in this one. Seriously, if I wanted to watch what happens to "Nobody Cares" characters I would read more fanfiction. Nobody in their right mind was waiting up at night wondering what happened to the guys, all we cared was that Chev stuck his gun in their face, and, reasoning on his face, decided whether to shoot them or not. They probably were simply trying to fill ten minutes of screen time, but they still failed at making it fun.

4.

The side stories. Now we get some dick hole news caster telling us how much of a delinquent Chev is, and how everyone needs to stay away from him. Why the fuck do we care? We're not here to get a moral lesson, and those who are deserve every thing that's coming to them. We're here to laugh at awesomeness, yet for some reason some wire thin mustache creep is telling us what to do. Shutting down now asshole, thanks so much.

5.

Finally, the back-story of Chev. I don't know about you, but AGAIN I was perfectly comfortable not knowing. I hated the fact that we're told that Chev was a terrible kid. I assumed! I assumed that he was a monster, I didn't care. It ticks me off when characters that are fun are butchered by people who want to "relate" to them. You don't relate to them, that's the point of fiction. You want to escape reality, not care about its hard life.

So what do I give this movie? What do you think. One day after coming up with my rating system and I already have the defining low point. I give this movie a

[MEDIA-CLUSTER-FUCK]

just because I fucking can. That's Z-Control, the anti Z-z-z-z inducer... no, I don't think that's going to be the catch phrase.

Blade 4: MOST RESENT THEATRICAL EXPERIENCES!!! (and pigs in space)

Not to be confused with every movie this last year that came out, or even a movie that came out this last year. These are my reactions to movies that I didn't get around to seeing until recently, and even then only the top five worth mentioning.

First off Blade 4:

As some of you know, I am one of the newsprint reading masses who actually gives a shit about comic books. Now I never truly got into Blade. You wanna know why? It's the vampires. Correct me if I'm wrong but you're supposed to become the bastard son of Hulk and Doctor Strange when you become a vamp right? From what I've seen and read, Blade vampires only get the super strength. No voice tricks, no instant entrapment. Just plain humans on steroids. That's why I don't like the series.

Not that I have anything against the movies. For an action-packed monster movie series it's good. Plently of bullet-time effects and awesome fighting styles and weapons. That's what it takes filmakers, that's it. The series is great, and even the writing wasn't half bad. I especially liked the third one, which for some reason is the least appreciated of the original three.

Now to Spike's take. Yes it was bought by Spike, but the truth is, I like this decision. Out of any network, I trust Spike to take care of this franchise and turn it into something it always should have been. So far they haven't butchered it, and hopefully they keep making more, because the ending was open and the possibilities are endless. I actually couldn't watch the TV Series and hopefully they kept up the good work.

Z-Control gives this movie a

[FAN CLUB CARD NOT REQUIRED]

Batman RISES: News

So awhile ago I made my predictions/hopes for Batman 3. After listening to what is ACTUALLY going to happen, do I still trust Nolan to make a good movie? Of course. Did they take any of my advice? No. Tragically my loyal fanbase failed to tell Nolan my ideas, and at that you should be ashamed.

Anyway. What is this news?

First off the villains. It has been confirmed that Bane will be in it played by Tom Hardy, and Anne Hathaway is thought to be playing Catwoman (Apperently that casting descision is still in the air). And breaking from fashion for TDKR (I feel like I sold my soul just then) Hugo Strange is rumored to be appearing played by Robin Williams.

I personally have no objections to this cast. They're all great villains, and the actors portraying them are all talented to pull this off. Hathaway, I think, has the easiest time because all Catwoman has to do is strut around with a whip and roll her R's. Bane I predict will be the hardest character for this movie. Strangely he's really hard to write, as we've all seen.

Never to be spoken of

Of course I trust Nolan with this story and i wish him the best. I can honestly say however I don't know where he's going with this. Bane is a good villain, but trying to use him as a follow up to the Joker? Nolan is either very brave, very creative, or very in love with Bane because the two have nothing in common (except for the whole "worthy oponent" thing).

Catwoman is definetly a common go-to. She's good fan-service and the fact that she's easy to write is a plus. Everyone knows her back story, and even if they don't she's one of those characters that's better as a mystery.

Strange though... well... it's strange. I hate to make that kind of pun but it's true. The guy is a good follow-up to the Joker, but that doesn't change the fact that he's B-List at best. He's a common criminal compared to the rest of them. I don't really believe this rumor is accurate, but with a line up with Bane and CWoman, I really have to say anything is possible.

Anyway, that's my thoughts about all the new Batman 3 News. I'm Eliot Wolf, and this

is

Z-CONTROL

Keep checking back with us, because the blog is changing. We're getting away from strickly game reviews and will start bringing media news and reviews from everywhere.

The Godfather The Game: The refusal, he won't make

Have you ever wanted to watch the Godfather then thought that it needs more car stealing? Well guess what, the people who've played Grand Theft Auto have had that same thought. I bring you The Godfather: The Game, the new version of GTA.

As you'd expect from any Movie made game it follows the movie to a T, but unlike any other movie/games it doesn't give you useless side missions to complete to continue the story. It goes through it all, the attempted assasination of Don Vito, Sonny's reign, Michael's decent into crime, and even the horse head. Yes, the Godfather game follows the movie, and that's what we true fans have wanted (Or else someone would have ended up sleeping with the fishes).

So where does this game succeed, other than the dedication to story? The controlls and gameplay are the best I've seen for this kind of game. The creators thought it would be a good thing to allow you to take cover, roll, shoot around corners and even aim. Kinda handy little tricks when you're fighting four mob families. Driving controls are just the same as ever, []= brake, /_\= Get in/Get out, X= accelerate, and nobody cares about O. Killing is easy too. Point and shoot or backhand the fucker, you decide. And get this, you can actually aim with explosives, and you actually get really explosives. Go figure.

As for the games full story, you take the role of a mob outsider who's on his way to be Don. Go through the story like this and you eventually get high enough that you can do anything you want. In the process you will bribe cops, extort businesses, whack some wiseguys, and take out entire families... or spend your time at a good vantage point and blow shit up, it's your decision.

So what's wrong with this game? Well besides the fact that cop bribing doesn't go as far as it should, you really should save/gain as much money as you can. Every weapon upgrade costs a superb amount of money, and you will not get that much on a linear run through the game. Take my advice and take as much time as you want to on robbing and extorting, trust me.

So the final verdict is the controls are phenomenal, and the story gives us Godfather fanboys/gamers something to talk about. ESRB rating is M for violence, language and adult themes (you know, the good stuff), and we at Z-Control give it a:

Definite Buy

This is Eliot Wolf from Wolf Den Productions and Z-Control asking you to keep gaming.